thanks dara

Uncertainty is killing me

And I'm certainly not asleep

Maybe I've gone far too deep

Maybe I'm just far too weak

And that's the last place I want to be the last place

And there is so much we dont know

So we love and we hope that it holds

man oh man.

uncertainty IS killing me. i'm not too sure what i feel. okay, thats i lie. i'm pretty sure i know what i feel. it's moreso uncertainty from the other end. stuffs been good lately. i've been feeling good, i've been happy- i've been sleeping in far too much; but thats okay i think- i haven't been all doubt-filled and insecure.  i listen to beyonce lots. singing and dancing to  "single ladies" is nourishment for a woman's soul, i swear. yet it's sort of fake for me like "if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it...your loss loser i'm happy and satisfied without you." thats not how i think though....just more like "i'm single. and i'm okay with it, and things are in a good place"

anyways. on to my issues. i got all  doubty the other day. i'd been doing good them BAM it just all rushed up on me. not insecurites....just doubt in the situation i'm in. i'm not going into details here they are irrelevant. lets just say i've been looking for closure lately. whether it's a shut door, or an open opportunity? i need an answer. limbo phase got old a few months ago. i'm a big girl. i'm content with things- just i want this to be sorted. so i can "sleep easy" i suppose

maybe i'll be singing a different taylor swift in a few weeks time than i have been lately

Baby I was naive,
Got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
My mistake, I didn't know to be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
I had so many dreams
About you and me
Happy endings
Now I know