i want to know your heart

i'm reading a really good book. i'll talk more about it later.

but something i read made a lot really clear.

i'm not going to quote the book. i'm just going to take the general idea and say what i believe. (NOTE: i've read half of a chapter. haha)

soooooo.

i'm on a roll where i am convinced a vast majority of "christians" have their "religion" wrong.

probably because i don't feel like a true "christian" follows a set of rules from a "religion"....i don't have many words in my theological dictionary...sorry. basically it's the good ol' "relationship, not religion" thing.

not that i'm right, and everyone is wrong. but we miss the big picture. we miss that God isn't up there judging us. he doesn't hate us, or condemn us or think of ways to torture us. He doesn't sit there and break promises, or hearts os whatever.

i think we break His heart. by just being us.

by missing who He IS by such a long shot. by completely missing love.

(not that we can do whatever. but....we can do whatever. thats one of the beautiful things about my faith i will never understand. i think you hit a point, where you realize how great your creator loves you, that everything else melts away, and you don't have the problem of doing "whatever", because you are simply walking in God's love...but until then.....)

you know when a friend has a toy that you want? or someone has money.....so you become "friends" with them.not really friends, but you pretend, so you can reap the rewards.

aren't we the same??

God is that kid with the toy...or the person with money. but it's not a toy or money. it's Heaven. it's and eternity of freedom.

we pretend to like Him, to love Him. pretend to follow Him, so we don't rot in Hell, so we appear to have hope . it's not real.

we know it, Father knows it, yet we continue living in denial.

i can't blame it all on the innocent sheep. there are lies all over the place. maybe not lies intentionally being told. not everyone has grasped God yet. (not that anyone will ever completely grasp it all)

when someone has a problem, we direct them to prayer or "the word." i'm not yet convinced what the answer is when someone has a problem, but telling them to read the word more can't always fix it.

i'm convinced of that. because that reduces your relationship to words in a book. nothing more. (this isn't me telling you to not read your Bible. i guess i'm saying there is more to God than that)

find your truth. and then you will find your peace. and isn't peace what we all want? i find my truth thinking back to creation. the garden. thats where my peace it. but i'm a wee bit crazy...

maybe i'm so off here. i don't know. i'm figuring it all out. when i know more, i'll let you know.

i'm not saying you have to believe me. maybe you have everything sorted. you can see past the lies, into the life of love that God has called you to live. and thats great, but i think it's time to lead others into that same life. because it's sort of a big deal.

i'm sure this just seems rhetorical by now. i feel like all i talk about is love. but i have to. it's what matters. it's what i believe in. it changes lives, and i want everyone to fell it.

He loves us.